He ain't talking about salad!
Gather round little people! For I have news from afar of an evil sport that not only causes injury but affects both men and women: Dwarf tossing. That’s right it’s a legit sport! (Well atleast as legit as Battle Shots…) The name of the event is pretty bang on as far what is involved, take an out of costume Ewok and throw him or her as far as you can, the winner being the one that throws their dwarf the farthest! You probably have an image in your head of some mid-evil tavern hosting such an event, but you need not venture to Middle Earth to partake. It happens here in Canada, in Ontario… in Windsor… Yes, the less slutty and cracked out Canadian sister to Detroit has a bar called the Leopard’s Lounge (I’m not giving you a link! You google it you sick fuck!) that hosts this event. Now this might be the most heinous thing to happen to little peeps this side of the shire but the average person can’t help but chuckle when hearing the name. The good news for anyone who isn’t an LP (that’s short for little person) is that there are currently no laws against the sport, even though there had been a private members bill put forward in 2003 but didn’t really go anywhere. There have been serious injuries associated with unlicensed Dwarf tossing as everyone’s favourite booze swilling, maximum whoreing Game of Thrones star Peter Dinklage (has to be a Dwarven stage name) was quick to remind us during the Golden Globes. (I didn’t watch it) So if you really are someone who wants to try this sport, get down to Windsor quick because time might be running short…
Yes, these are all the short jokes people have used on me… I finally got to use them myself…
CBSEE it
‘Colab’ Goddamn kids these days can’t even finish words when they’re talking any more! When I hear the truncated use collaborate, I think of things like ‘Meth Lab’ or maybe ‘Coke Lab’. Which are probably the things that kids are ‘Colab’n’ about! What’s even worse is most of these kids have even forgotten about Dre, now that was collaboration.
